A long time ago now (2008) I heard Brendan Hyde speak on Children and Spirituality.
It was like the lights went on.
You know that feeling when someone says something, and it's so obvious, that you're completely mystified that you hadn't thought of it in those terms before? What he said put words around something that I felt I had known all along, but never at a conscious level. I had been vaguely feeling something was missing in my understanding of the world, but I couldn't figure out what. Which is ironic, because what I heard him say was that spirituality could be described as connectedness. Connectedness with self, and with other, including people, the world, and God.
Since then, I have been reading books about the topic and considering new approaches to the work I do as a pastor, and the work I do as a parent. I read Rebecca Nye's Children's Spirituality: what it is and why it matters over the summer, and decided to take a question posed in the FAQs as a challenge (pp 83-84).
If spirituality thrives on a less 'teachy' approach, what is my role and how will I know if I have made an impression?
Her book suggests that spirituality can be sidelined, even closed down, by the side-effects of our teaching. That in our attempts to 'teach' theological truth, there is spiritual fall-out. The hard part is that it is easy to assess whether we have imparted knowledge, and less easy to discern whether spiritual growth has happened.
So, her answer? Ask not what the children have learned from you, but what you have learned from them/being with them. Looking at it in this upside down way stops us thinking about the educational model we are used to, and you will see that the children are learning lots: which may or may not have anything to do with the lesson you prepared.
Jesus said two interesting things about children. "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven" (Matt 18:3) and "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." (Matt 19:14). Whatever else that might mean, it means this much to me: the children, many of whom are my brothers and sisters in Christ, have a lot to teach me, and I must take the time to listen. And if there is any possibility that my teaching will stunt the spiritual growth of children, then I must stop and take a long hard look.
Learning up is a play on the management expression 'Leading Up', in which we seek to lead or manage those who are leading us. Here I want to share what I am learning from those I seek to teach.
