Of course!

-- Fiona, you're a real sucker.

-- Sorry?

-- Sucker for punishment. Doing the kids program again. 

-- You have parents, and I love them, and so I need to look after you. I love you too, of course...

-- Of course!

In one day, I had these two important conversations. The first is with an adult. The second was with a child. 

The first conversation is the one that is all too familiar for those of us who minister with children. Adults speak to us as if we are a bit slow, got our arms twisted, not able to do 'real' ministry, etc. It's demeaning and demoralising, but I'm so used to hearing it, I almost never respond. That day I did. I've had a hard year, and I now no longer minister with children on a regular basis. And I'm grieving. The person who spoke those unkind words knows that. I pointed out that I had chosen to be there, and I politely excused myself to go see my (own) child. 

The second conversation was part of a longer dialogue. A child told me they needed to go to the toilet. I said, awesome, I'll go with you. He said it was okay, he knew where it was. I said yes, but you have parents, and I love them (they are good friends of mine) so I need to look after you. Then I realised that sounded odd, so I said 'I love you, too, of course'. His reply, the very sure, 'of course!' made my day. He knew that I loved him. His mum told me later that he was very confident, very sure of himself. But I think that it shows surety in me, as well. He knew that I loved him. 

The Bible tells me 'A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.' (John 13:34-35). 

That boy knew me by my actions, even before my explanation. My adult acquaintance did not. 

There was a saying in my workplace a little while ago: 'playing for an audience of one', which referred to doing stuff just for God. That little boy made me realise the extreme wrongness of that saying. I do ministry with kids for God's glory, it is true. But in doing so, I love each person, each child who comes to me. It is incredibly important what they think. Because if they do not experience God's love from me, how will they know who I am, and how will they know who God is? How will I?

I wonder ... many things, and many of them are painful.

I wonder how I can cherish my conversation with my young friend, and let it change who I am for the better.